Over the years I have had many conversations with my friends reminiscing about our ‘long gone’ single days. We joke and banter about the good times, about how ratchet and crazy we were, and even though we get a bit nostalgic, we don’t miss it one bit. In fact, the idea of being single now gives me anxiety.
However, I do have one friend who didn’t agree. She would always complain and seemed to genuinely miss being single, and if you ask her why she simply said she missed her freedom. Needless to say, she was also the same friend who had multiple ‘short term’ boyfriends over a number of years and never properly settled down, until recently.
For the past year and a half she has been with her current boyfriend (and future husband, in my opinion) and she couldn’t be happier. He is great. He gets on with all of us and they are sickeningly cute together. And guess what – if you asked her now whether she misses being single, she will say with 100% conviction – No. And that is because she has finally found a guy worth staying home with and she has finally grown out of the single life.
If you are in a relationship but you miss your single life, or worse, carry on like you are still single, then it’s a good indication you need to take a step back and take a closer look at yourself and your relationship.
Being in a healthy and happy relationship doesn’t mean that you shut yourself away and hibernate together forever. God Forbid!! On the contrary, a sign of a happy relationship is being able to spend time apart (5 Tips for a Healthy Marriage). However, it does mean that you should love spending time together and enjoy being part of a unit that works together.
Personally, I love having someone that I have to run things by and check in with. Sometimes I act like it’s a burden (just to be awkward), but knowing there is someone who is as equally concerned about my life and well-being as I am, is reassuring and bloody lovely. If you don’t feel that way in your current relationship, but instead find these things a burden, then it is likely they may not be the right one for you, or possibly, you are simply just not ready to be in a relationship.
The latter is very common, especially if you’re young, and there is nothing wrong with it. If you are not ready to be settled down and want to ‘spread your wild oats’ and enjoy the energy that comes with youth – go for it, but do not get yourself tied into a relationship where you are unhappy as someone will ultimately get hurt and it is not worth the wasted time.
When you find the right person the single life will be a distant and ‘cherished’ memory that you will sometimes look back on with a smile and *cringe*, but know that you wouldn’t go back to for love nor money.
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