Read on for my 5 top tips to achieving a healthy marriage. Put these daily habits into action to maintain the all important connection every marriage needs.
Relationships aren’t easy. No one ever said they were. One of the best pieces of advice I have received is simply to acknowledge that ‘it takes time and effort from both of you’ to make it work.
I have great examples of marriage in my life. My parents celebrated 40 years of marriage last year and my in laws are celebrated 30 this year. Both seem to have the whole marriage things ‘down’ but as they all say – it has taken years to get to a point where it is just ‘easy’. Being together is second nature for them but that didn’t happen overnight.
I don’t claim to be an expert and I sure as hell don’t get it right all the time but I we have learnt a lot in our 9 years together and from the other great couples that we have around us. We have grown up together and overtime cultivated our own routine and habits that just work.
SAY I LOVE YOU
Say it as often as you can. Some people say it loses meaning if you just say it for the sake of it, or even on automatic pilot but I don’t think that is right. Every person on this planet needs to know they are loved and hearing this daily, even if you don’t take it in fully, it is a confidence booster and heart warmer.
It is also important to say it even when things aren’t great. My husband knows that when I am pissed off, no matter how angry I am, if he says ‘I love you’ I can’t NOT say it back. It tends to lighten the mood and alleviate the tension, because it reminds that no matter what the circumstances that love doesn’t change.
HAVE DINNER TOGETHER
A huge part of British culture is sitting with dinner on trays watching Eastenders or Corrie. There is nothing wrong with watching TV together, especially if you enjoy the same shows and can snuggle up on the sofa BUT a great opportunity to connect and check in with each is daily at dinner.
If possible eat together every evening. At a table with no TV would be ideal. Not only are you able to catch up on your day but having this time together, every day, helps to make you feel like a unit. Like a family. Like a team.
This is not just about sex. Yes, sex is important. It connects you in a way you don’t connect with any other person in the world and other than the obvious enjoyment factor, it is great exercise, a stress reliever and is even said to help you live longer. So enjoy getting cosy under the sheets.
But outside of the bedroom, still be affectionate. There is no need for unsightly PDA in the local park but hug when you see each after work. Kiss when you say goodbye. Hold hands when you walk down the street. Cuddle up when you watch a film. Physical affection is hugely important in relationships and makes you feel loved without having to say it.
Enjoy each other’s company. Don’t get into a routine where you simply live together and then socialise separately with other people. Find and cultivate a shared interest or simply schedule in a weekly movie night. Even if you don’t have a huge amount of similar hobbies, happy couples tend to enjoy each other’s company no matter what they are doing.
As important it is to spend time together and do joint activities. It is just as important to be independent of your partner. You need to be able to do things on your own and take time to focus on yourself.
Your partner cannot be your whole world, and taking time apart and remaining individuals will make you both stronger alone and together.
There are probably loads more little habits that we and many other couples do to help maintain that ‘spark’ but there are the main ones that come to my mind as the most important for me currently.
I love my husband and but neither he or myself and perfect and that does mean work needs to be put in to find that sweet spot of wedded bliss.
Thanks for reading and l hope you enjoyed this post and can take something away from it. If you don’t do these things but there are other things you can suggest leave a comment below. Subscribe to never miss a post and Follow my blog with BlogLovin! Bye for now.