Warning: This blog may contain strong or offensive language*sorry*
I apologise in advance if this is more of a rant than my normal ‘pleasant’ posts, but this is an issue that really gets under my skin.
Maybe I am being over sensitive but I find this question inappropriate and invasive.
We have been married no more than 7 months!! 7 months!!! I mean, shit, we’re still deciding if we actually like this marriage malarkey.
But ever since the moment we said ‘I do’ it seems to be the ONLY thing anyone cares about.
‘When are you going to have a baby?’.
The most baffling aspect, is that I mainly get quizzed by mere ‘acquaintances’ or literal strangers I have just met. Leaving me like:
“Errrr….I’m sorry, before I answer that, what was your name again?”
I just don’t get it. How and when did it became socially acceptable to probe about someone’s intimate reproductive plans.
You wouldn’t ask about my current contraception or how regular my periods are but apparently the residency of my womb is a free-for-all.
Our ‘family planning’ is no one else’s business. Simple.
I fail to understand what answer people are actually expecting? Other than the standard ‘brush off’, how do they expect that conversation to go?:
Question: “So when are you going to start having babies?”
Response 1: “Well, I barely know you, but sure, I’ll open up about one of the most private aspects of my life. In fact I recently stopped taking my pill and I’m currently ovulating, so me and my husband are going to go at it like rabbits tonight!”
*Insert Awkward Silence*
Response 2: “Actually, we have been trying but nothing so far, we’re actually starting to get a little worried”
*Insert uncomfortable mutterings of apology*
Or worse still
Response 3: *Sobbing*
(Because the person you just asked has recently suffered a devastating miscarriage)
It is simply not OK to ask. To someone who is struggling to conceive this question is a slap in the face.
You don’t know their story. You don’t know their history. So sod off.
As my husband and I are yet to start trying I am able to hold my cool when asked this question and have my answer at the ready:
“that’s not our priority just yet”
(followed by a large swig of wine for good measure).
BUT, if they the proceed to reply:
“Well you don’t want to wait too long – you are already 30”
I may straight kill a bitch!
I cannot comprehend, how, in a time where women are happily and easily having babies well into their 30’s, people think they have the right to impose their ignorant and misplaced opinions on me.
And in doing so basically suggest that any futures issues I may have with fertility are my own LAZY fault. Do One!
It’s simple really. Do not ask any ANYONE about their future baby plans unless they bring it up first. It’s not your business unless they make it.
I have people in my life that I am ‘EXTREMELY’ close to and if they were to ask I would not be remotely offended but they are also the only people in my life who NEVER ask.
They respect that boundary and know that if it is something I want to talk about I will bring it up.
For any of you out there who also find this frustrating, you’re not alone.
I have seen multiple articles on the subject and practically every woman I speak to in the same position feel the same way.
Here’s hoping that people start to get the message and leave me and my ovaries to fertilise in our own time!!
Thanks for reading and let me know in the comments if you agree OR not! Subscribe to never miss a post and Follow my blog with BlogLovin! Bye for now.